Saturday, May 23, 2015

#sexism :a curbside scandal in Atlanta!

Food for thought



http://www.youngcons.com/this-photo-is-getting-thousands-of-retweets-on-twitter-can-you-spot-why/ is the article that sensationalized this whole thing. Check it out, but don't forget what year we're living in!

THIS picture has been re-tweeted over 12k times and “favorited” over 6k times. Most who have “favorited”, re-tweeted, or otherwise commented on it, (based on the several pages of comments that I read before I felt a headache coming on, probably from banging my head against the wall) find something "wrong" with the picture. I, however, was pleased to see, after searching through those several pages, that I am far from the only one responding differently. Many others are making comments similar comments to what I have said here. So here we go...

I understand the socially conditioned thought process at work here, especially when readers are given a prompt to find something wrong with the picture. I know what we are "supposed to" think is "wrong" with this picture: the “man” should be walking on the outside, and the “woman” should be walking on the inside. “He should be shielding her from unruly traffic or any other dangers.” 

Personally, I think that thought process is not only completely sexist, but also total bullshit, and extremely outdated. This isn't 1850. This isn't 1922. It’s not from a Good Housekeeping article, circa 1950 about how a woman should expect her man to treat her (as if that would have been allowed n the 50’s), nor is it from a 1953 Playboy article about how a "gentleman" should act. It's cell phone photo from 2015! 

On a separate note, if there is anything I've learned about photography, it is that photos can easily lie. Not just little lies, but really big ones. Not every time of course. After trying to photograph hundreds of uncooperative animals over the last several years, I've learned a lot. It's really easy to make the camera lie. Really, really, easy. If you don’t understand what I mean, I’ll give you one of the most common and easy examples readily available: how the filmmakers created the dog-fight scenes in the movie, White Fang. No dogs were hurt, no dogs were fighting, and no computers were used to manipulate the images or video footage other than, perhaps, the way the clips were strung together. It sure did look like a vicious battle though! 

Moving on, people make a lot of assumptions all the time. We all do it every day. I'm making them as I write this article. With this tweet and this picture, in this situation there are several assumptions that most people who view it are making based on the twitter comments:

Assumption #1 – the photographer of this picture is a stranger to the two people we are asked to look at walking in front of them.

Assumption #2 - the person on the camera's left is a man and the person on the camera's right is a woman. They have their backs to us. Despite societal norms, we could be looking at a man on the right and a woman on the left, or even two people who are gender nonconforming. I’ll let this assumption go for the most part, because in this particular situation, it isn’t really the main thing that needs to be addressed reading so many of the re-tweets and comments.

Assumption #3 – They are a couple. Not two friends, not a brother and a sister, not two colleagues walking to/from a lunch meeting. (Yes, I know many will make arguments that regardless  of their relationship status, if they are walking together, the "man" should still "always" be on the outside). I ask that you let that go for now.

Assumption #4 - These two people are walking together. For all we know, they are complete strangers and one of the two people is actually walking more quickly than the other and about to pass them.

There are more assumptions and/or inferences that can be made, but those are enough to make the following points:
  • Even if these two people do know each other and are walking together, so what? Why, in 2015, in a heterosexual relationship (romantic, platonic, or otherwise), does the man have to always be considered the "guardian" of the woman and therefore NEED to walk to the outside to protect her? Many women feel suffocated just by that idea. 
  • What if they are actually walking together and she has anxiety issues like claustrophobia?  In that scenario, if the woman was walking on the inside, between the man and the wall, that could easily bring out her anxiety of feeling trapped. Here, regardless of how traditional their roles may or may not be, understanding and thinking about her feelings, and her moving to the outside where she feels most comfortable would be the "chivalrous" thing for him to do. 
  • I did say that thought process used by the majority of people commenting and re-tweeting with their two cents was overall sexist. What if he has a leg, back, or other injury that is invisible to viewers looking at a still photo? An injury making him unable to move quickly to escape danger should a car hop a curb? What if he has an aversion to traffic because he was hit by a car or was in a bad accident at some previous time and now has his own issues and is comforted by walking on the inside to quell his own anxiety? This is something a caring spouse or partner, male, female, or otherwise, would most certainly cater to. I try to do what I can to make those whom I love feel comfortable, even when it sometimes differs from how I would normally act. Their sex and/or gender doesn't have anything to do with it.
  • Perhaps she just prefers to walk to the right, or he just prefers to walk to the left. If my husband and I ever switch sides of the bed, I feel lost and uncomfortable and don't sleep well. I go on the right. I’ve always gone on the right. It feels weird if I'm ever on his left.
  • Or a hundred other reasons why "she" is curbside" and "he" is inside.
  • Or zero other reasons and we are seeing exactly what the photographer saw - that there is actually nothing wrong with this picture and another mountain has been made out of another molehill.
Is there anything wrong with “traditional male and female roles” in a heterosexual relationship? Absolutely not! Everyone defines their own relationships, how they want them to work, and how they want to be treated by their partner(s). “Traditional” is but one of many labels that can be used to define a successful, working, happy relationship. That is perfectly acceptable, and that that is the food for thought that I wish for others to take with them and chew on.

One day we’re slut shaming, another day we’re man-shaming. Good grief; much judgment. From what we are shown, which is the only information we can go on, no one is being harmed in this picture.

Please think about that, @jocelyntb_@ibi_babyyy, and everyone who saw this picture and immediately decided that “men don’t know how to treat women anymore,” that “chivalry is lost,” or any had any other similar thoughts.

The truth is, we’ll never know the story behind this innocent picture. That could be a man on the left and a woman on the right. They could be walking together. They could be in a romantic relationship. They could be in a “traditional” romantic relationship. And she could, very well, be rolling her eyes wishing he would walk curbside. 

My guess? Neither of the people even thought or cared about it because it is 2015 and most people have a hell of a lot more on their mind and don’t give a hoot about where their partner is walking.

...Except at school. Every single day at the high school where I teach, I wonder if or when (in the United States) parents and/or other teachers stopped teaching their kids/students to walk to the right to allow for an easy and normal flow of traffic so the halls are not constantly congested and hard to navigate. I must watch every corner I turn because I will be run over by one or more students who may or may not be physically looking in the direction they are walking, but they will definitely be walking down the left side about to turn the corner sharply. …But now I’m ferreting  down a long worm hole. Or would that be a ferret hole? (Or as my husband and his co-worker would say, I'm squirreling).  Peace out.

Note: “favorited” is in quotes because as far as I know it isn’t a word.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Edge of Nowhere

I don't do many music critiques, or at least I don't write about them. I was super-excited about this album coming out for a lot of personal reasons, so perhaps that is why this blog post felt necessary.

I am a huge Lady Gaga fan. Ever since I heard "Poker Face" on the radio, I've been hooked on her music, and enthralled with her persona. My husband and I watched her HBO special the other night and were completely blown away with the incredible, theatrical entertainment value. I'd love to see her live in concert some day.

The newly released song, "Edge of Glory" from Gaga's  most recent album, Born this Way, however, feels uninspired. It sounds like another run of the mill 1980s ballad. The album's other songs each out with clever lyrics accompanied by interesting music.  This one falls extremely short of  that. I was disappointed.  The song is reminiscent of it's album's cover.  Born this Way was probably the most anticipated album in decades and the cover-art was a huge let-down - her body photo-shopped into a motorcycle?  During a Monster Ball tour performance in Poland, Lady Gaga herself touted that she'd deliver "the greatest album of this decade." The album as a whole falls short of her goal.

It seems like in no time after Gaga burst onto the pop charts in 2008 with her first releases, she became the biggest superstar in the world overnight and hasn't slowed down.  She has given us a tremendous amount of great music in a very short time.  My fear is that Gaga is on the fast track to major burn out, and that her producers, record label, and whoever else (herself?) are now pushing her to churn out songs faster than she has time to reflect on them, or judge herself the quality her fans have come to expect.  Unfortunately, with someone as big on the music scene as Lady Gaga, producers know they can get a way with a lot before fans start calling "bullshit!" Let me be clear, I don't think the album is bullshit at all, and I still think Gaga is an amazing artist, performer, and advocate for a lot of things that are important to me. She's great! After loving all the songs on her previous albums, I had the lofty expectation of feeling the same way about this one. Perhaps I just set myself up for a little disappointment.

Now, the album's title track, on the other hand will be one of the greatest songs of all time, and is definitely one of my favorites. "Born this Way" is in my head daily, and is one of very few songs currently playing on the radio that speaks directly to me, and from which I can draw strength. 

Luckily, Lady Gaga has so much other good music that we can just forget "Edge of Glory" ever happened. If you are interested in hearing the song, here is Gaga's official music video:


Monday, May 02, 2011

WWE Tough Enough

I love WWE and I'm enjoying Tough Enough this season.  Its really good to see the show back, and Steve Austin is rocking his role.  I wish we saw more Trish Stratus, but whatever. I'm also not sure why Booker T was chosen when they knew he would have to miss multiple episodes to tape Smack Down?  Personally, I see Booker's knowledge and experience as much more valuable to the Tough Enough rookies than to the SmackDown commentary booth, but to each their own.  I like Booker, but he's not a commentator. Assuming we get another season, lets get some trainers without a time conflict.

But I'm getting sidetracked. The reason I started this post was to discuss the Tough Enough logo. It has bothered me ever since I first saw it a few months ago. First of all its just lame. But more importantly, it looks like someone used Undertaker's logo as a spike and drove it right through Internet Explorer's logo and their combined butchery resulted in the Tough Enough logo.  You be the judge...

 


P.S. Skid-mark FINALLY got future endeavored on tonight's episode!  He tried, but 3 weeks in a row on the bottom is too long.  Adios!

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Oops

Apparently I haven't posted in almost 2 years.

My bad.

Hmm. Well. I keep everyone up to date on Facebook these days. Maybe I'll start posting again here too ..we shall see!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I have such random dreams...


All I can remember is that something happened to my french fries and I ordered a "potato autopsy." (Don't ask because I don't know).

Monday, June 25, 2007

R.I.P. Kitty 1999-6/21/07

Putting an animal down is never easy, but when they are suffering, it is the best thing you can do for them.

Thursday afternoon, my first and oldest ferret, Kitty, crossed the "rainbow bridge." She was ailed by several conditions over the last 2 weeks and it was her time.

I've met several ferrets in my day (and own two others), but she was the sweetest, most affectionate ferret I've ever known ..and so darn cute. She liked to give kisses and be held. Kitty loved being chased and wrestled with. She could do the "weasel war dance" with the best of 'em.

Kitty will always be remembered for her cute "head cocked to the side" position that she often sat in with the inquisitive expression on her cute little face.

Thanks for the memories, Kitty. I consider myself lucky that I was able to know you and care for you for several years. You will always be loved and have a special place in my heart. Lascivia and Fucifer love you too.


We love you, Kitty. We miss you.
Jenny

Friday, May 11, 2007

Grandparents Update

I don't even know where to begin because its been so long since I made an entry on here. You'd think if I took the time to update this on a regular basis, that I would see that it would be easier and I'd do it. It is partly because some of the things I feel I need to get off my chest are so hard to talk or write about, but I'll try...

Well, its been about 14 months since Granddad passed away (March 2006). As hard as it was to lose Grandmom a few months earlier, the day he died, his funeral, and the month or so surrounding his death was the hardest time of my life. We were very close, and having him pass was both devastating and welcomed (as he had been suffering from Alzheimer's and a myriad of other medical issues for a few years).

I'll never get over missing them. They were there my entire life and as a child it was rare to go even a day without seeing them. It became less frequent as I got older but we still always saw each other. The last couple years of their lives, of course, I was there every day helping care for them.

I always pictured them at my wedding. When I was younger and assumed everyone got married and had kids, I pictured them holding my first child. I'm not interested in having human children anymore, but these are still dreams unrealized. I am, however, very glad they were able to meet, get to know, and approve of my partner during their last few years. That will forever mean a lot to me. They told me more than once that they were happy I had found "such a nice young man" ..that still makes me smile. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if I've ever told that to him.

They were always there for anything I needed or anything ANYONE needed - family or friend, or even acquaintance. So selflessly giving all of themselves every day. Its what made them truly happy ..yet at the same time they weren't doing it for themselves. Its hard to explain. It seems so rare to see this in a person, let alone two.

There is so much to tell about them and their lives and I could go on and on for years and never come anywhere close to doing them the justice they deserve. I'll try to go into greater detail with stories in the future.

Almost every day I think to myself ..if I could just be half the person my grandparents were, maybe someday I will make a difference in someone's life as they did in mine and so many countless others.


R.I.P. Floy Burgess Perry Dauenhauer (November 1914 - September 2005) and Floyd Lester Dauenhauer (November 1914 - March 2006)